In an epic instant classic, FFBMCO Bowl III ended in a 98.48 – 98.24 victory for Best In the World, manned by Seattle by way of Chicago by way of Cleveland by way of Youngstown’s GJ Farina.
The people of Seattle have another icon to add to their list. GJ’s face & the Best in the World logo fits in nicely right next to Shawn Kemp, Brian Bosworth and Ken Griffey Jr. There is a new Reign Man for a new generation of Seattleites. A new Kurt Cobain figure for the youngsters who grew up without Nirvana. Another successful operation that can proudly sit next to Microsoft & Tableau Software. Best in the World has etched itself in stone in Seattle’s lore. According to League sources, our newest champion went on a multi week bender at all of the highest ranked bars according to Yelp, slamming Amaretto Sours at an alarming rate at each establishment. The hard to find yet very swanky Bathtub Gin is where he has made home base, and is where the press finally found him. Once our champion realized there were journalists in his presence, he randomly belted out 10 notes about himself in between his Seattle Dog bites –
“My full name is Gary Matthew Farina, Junior!
I was born on the 8th day of November in the year 1980!
My parents are alive!
I have 0 known siblings!
I currently work at FFBMCO and Bose…Dual income!
I am saving up for a giraffe to behead because I hate them!
The greatest risk I ever took was when I started with Guam, then Turkey, then Croatia and I’m still trying to win the game!
I am excited by Mary Shelley’s brain aaaaand beauty!
I hope that dolphins never become land dwellers and attack, they’re smarter than humans!
My destiny is I guess the original…the sequel isn’t out till later this year!”
That was all that reporters got out of him other than his constant ZWICK! ZWICK! ZWICK! ZWICK! chant. However the rumors are true and the champ has flown east to FFBMCO headquarters for his coronation which took place yesterday. As always, the FFBMCO champion calls the shots on the menu for his feast:
-Chipotle Barbacoa bowl with all salsas
-Every item from the Taco Bell dollar menu
-Vanilla cream filled donuts
and what the champion wants, the commissioners deliver.
However due to a family emergency, only 2/3 of the commissioning unit could be present, so we summoned last years’ champion Kyle Herrick of Default Team Name to pass the proverbial torch. Watching the 2014 champ present the FFBMCO hardware to the 2015 champ was a sight to behold.
In lesser news, The Golden Boy Farm was the runner up for the 2nd straight year netting Conneaut Joe another $250, and FunkyEngineThatCould took the 3rd place prize of $100. All 3 FFBMCO titles have been won by Frowns Conference teams.
And finally, news that’s relevant to all owners…the 2016 draft order is set:
But before we can all start strategizing in the offseason, the QB/Waiver poll resulted in a tie. Status Quo and Laissez-Faire both finished with 6 votes (Qb Inheritance had 5 votes, Auction/Bid had 3 votes). So now, these final 2 choices have been opened as a new and final poll. All owners who plan on returning next season must vote so that this decision can be truly determined by the people. All owners who have not voted will be reminded next Saturday 1/16.
Happy New Year!
