June 12, 2016 at 7:49 pm #1048
Just like the movie starring Tom Hanks & a volleyball….CAST AWAY!
DERRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!June 13, 2016 at 8:18 am #1051
I’d like to throw my hat in the rizzy. “You can tell it’s an aspen….because of the way it is!”June 13, 2016 at 11:09 am #1052
I am in like flynn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!June 14, 2016 at 1:09 pm #1053
Oh would ya lookatthat!June 16, 2016 at 9:37 am #1054
I am back once again as your all time legendary commissioner!July 20, 2016 at 11:43 am #1055
We have 3 candidates so far, again each candidate will be emailed with the same set of questions and the answers will be published in time for the voting. Make America great again RICKADAIR!July 24, 2016 at 1:39 pm #1056
That is not correct brine. We may have a fourth candidate making his magnificent, super luxurious, and classy nomination. All members of the FFBMCO please stand by for an upcoming announcement on the candidacy of Comrade Stanonik who may announce his candidacy in an effort to make our league great again. A press conference will be held any time up to (but not after) July 31st to address if Comrade Stanonik will lend his marvelous skills, his fantasy football acumen, and genius brain to save our great league from the losers who run it.July 30, 2016 at 10:48 pm #1057
(Live from a podium outside the Golden Boy Farm)
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Eli Manning.
(Eli dressed in a pair of 1980s basketball shorts, a loose fitting tank top, and lotioned up for the hot Conneaut summer days steps to the podium labeled “Stanonik”)
Eli: Welcome everybody. Today I have the honor of introducing a man who needs no introduction. His legend has been built and his accomplishments are too many to name. That man is the master of this Golden Boy Farm. Most people spend their lives to succeed in one field, but our master has succeeded in many, at the high level, and on a global scale. He has enjoyed success in a vast number of fantasy leagues because the common denominator is him, his vision, his brilliance, his passion, his work ethic, and his refusal to take no for an answer. I’ve enjoyed the good fortune of working alongside our master for ten years now and I have seen these principles in action daily. I remember his telling me as a rookie quarter back “Eli, if you are going to be thinking, you might as well think big.” And that is how he approaches any task he takes. He thinks BIG! Our league finds itself at a crossroads and in need of BIG thinkers. We have owners in this league who are small mined, who are lazy, and who do not have the vision to compete in the league. If we do not adapt, our league will be left behind. Our master will inspire them to do great things. He has the strength to do great things and inspire those are around him. Ladies and gentlemen it is my honor to introduce a man who I have loved and respected my entire life the leader of our Golden Boy Farm, Joseph Stanonik.
(the camera spans to the second level of the building where Golden Boy President Joseph Stanonik descends on an escalator to “Keep On Rocking In The Free World” by Neil Young. Once on the first floor, Mr. Stanonik steps to the podium)
Thank you. Thank You. It is great to be at the Golden Boy Farm again. This is the greatest crowd ever. This is beyond anyone’s expectations. Now let me tell you something, some of the other candidates who are running for this pot have politely announced their candidacy on this board. Their messages were short and concise and showed no passion for the position they were applying for. No passion for the owners they will be representing. They will sweat like pigs if (and only if you allow them to be) they are under the pressure of the real interests that run our great league. I don’t think that is going to happen.
Our league is in serious trouble people! We don’t aspire to be great anymore! We bitch and moan about why certain teams are successful, why certain teams have been able to stack their rosters, why certain teams always make the playoffs. Maybe it is because we don’t pick winners to lead us. But I beat these people all the time! Now when our founders put our league together they did their best to find 20 committed owners. They had the purist of intentions. I can promise you that. But let us be honest with ourselves for a moment. All 20 owners are not the best. Some of these owners have many problems. They are lazy. They are whiners. They want the rule bent in their advantage so they don’t have to carry a backup quarterback. They want to redraft every year because building a roster to win in this league is hard. And I assume some are good people too. But most seek to water down the greatness of the FFBMCO. This has to stop and it has to stop fast. Our enemies are getting stronger and stronger by the day and we as a league are getting weaker and weaker.
I love this league. Believe me. Believe me. And I have benefited as much as anyone from the lack of quality owners in our league. Believe me. No one has had more success than me. But we are broken. The FFBMCO is not a great league anymore. And it can only be great again if you elect me to be your commissioner to fight for your rights with our founding commissioners. I will make this FFMBCO bigger and greater than it has ever been. And together we will make the FFMBCO great again!
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