Another Sunday concludes and another win that any other franchise would have earned slips away. This time it was in the form of leaving 8 points on the board via 2 missed fgs and 2 missed PATs. As Browns fans were watching in (what shouldn’t be) disbelief FFBMCO broadcaster Jim Ross called it perfectly – “Good Lord, King! That’s not a professional kicker named Zane, that’s the Undertaker’s brother in destruction named Kane! He can’t kick damnit! He’s a demonic wrestler not a place kicker! These Browns fans are broke in half, good God almighty!!!”
To add a little salt and vinegar into the freshest Typical Clown wound, the Browns braintrust decided that the 10 substance related infractions were ok but “straining” a hammy* during a promotional shoot is where they draw the line after 6 years of Josh Flash Gordon.
* denotes the hamstring strain is not preventing him from suiting up and playing for his new team with no time to learn the playbook or get extensive treatment on it etc.
Who is his new team? Why none other than the NFL powerhouse New England Patriots. Hooray! Yes Gordon has an issue plagued career so far but he has elite talent so surely we received a decent haul in return. Right? RIGHT?!
Well if receiving a 5th round pick from the team that routinely makes the Super Bowl is a Cooking With Joe delicious treat then BAMMMMMM BITCH!!!!!!
So a quick summary – The Browns gave Josh Gordon to the juggernaut team that refused to trade us Jimmy Garropolo. The Browns received a 3rd round pick from the Patriots when they shipped over Danny Fuckin Shelton but gobbled up a 5th for Gordon. Browns job! Browns effort!
Lets cleanse our souls and exit NFL and enter FFBMCO.
A week 2 bless’m once again to our ferocious champion LM’s Gamblerz for dropping the weekly high of 166.68 on HIS BROTHER MATT’s King of Cleveland. To add insult to injury, the savvy owner snatched up ex King of Cleveland QB Ben Roethlisberger who dropped a shade under 60 on his ex team. Needless to say, LM’s Gamblerz are in the driver seat for the September contest of highest scoring drafted player courtesy of Big Ben and the FFBMCO Battle of the Brothers has been one sided in favor of the youngster. When was the last time The Gamblerz lost? November 2017??? YOU THINK THAT’S BAD!?!?
Week 2 beat’m goes out to the Leonard Washingtons who tallied up 58.38 big ones in his matchup vs The Golden Boy Farm. The restless Leonard Washingtons fanbase is starting to question the mental capacity of their eccentric owner who spends too much of his time chasing girls online and in real life both in state and out and not enough time crafting the blueprint to the success of his franchise. Is there any validity to this or was it just a case of Nick Fischer trespassing on to the Golden Boy Farm which triggered Conneaut Joe’s alarm to have his raucous, always hungry defense of hairy, burly, packin, brute force Bears smother him in man and strength?
After 2 weeks the FFBMCO landscape is made up of 7 2-0 teams, 7 0-2 teams and 6 1-1 teams.
Kindly look for yourself when time allows –
The league office soundsystem is currently piping out Big KRIT – Country Shit as of the time of this publication.
The Typical Clownies/Sad, Sad Frownies/Cleveland Brownies play on primeeeeeee timmmeeeee this week and…THEY ABOUT TO WIN!
VICTORY FRIDGES UNLOCKED!
END TRANSMISSION!!!
