Browns Beat.
1.) FunkyEngineThatCould/LeonardWashingtons Brian LL/Nick F in the PNC Player Haters Bowl
Well…what can we say about Fish’s team that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan?
2.) Chesty McDoon’s/StandYourGround Shaun/Scott in the Aurora Engineering Local Union 103 Bowl
Did Shaunnie tell the Yahoo Projected Stats team and Draft Graders to go to hell…or is it more of the bad karma seeping out of the StandYourGround team name?
*note…I just found out Scott does not work with Shaun, they are former coworkers from a different company. So this Bowl name makes no sense
3.) Default Team Name/Lord of the Reamed Kyle/Tillett in the St.Francis Gymnasium Bowl
Tillett’s Saruman and Kyle is Treebeard and the Ents just reamed Tillett’s squad while showing no mercy. A tip of the hat to Kyle for being our points leader after week 1.
4.) Best in the World/Brick Tamland GJ/Bob in the Cousinly BSides Bowl
3 of Bobs’ starters had 3.5 points or less…and still won in a landslide. I hope Ol’ Bob did his “hunch over and laugh and clap hands quickly” that he does when he’s excited.
5.) Timmy Derp’s Derpers/Poo Punchers v3.0 Timmy/Marc in the newly formed FANTASY DRAFT CHAOS & RAGE Bowl
I feel like somewhere Marc has his trademark red face which means he wants to heave heavy tools down the stairs. Mr. Derp strikes first in this lifetime rivalry’s first meeting.
6.) The Replacements/A-Rod’s Brauny Bunch Joe K/Nick H in the PNC Employees Born in States Outside of Ohio Bowl
Phillip Rivers delivered a late night PHILLIP RIVAZZZZZZZZZ for Joe, which let him go to bed soundly while Nick had a sleepless night of panic about his squad.
7.) Burkhardt Bandits/Team Punisher Joe D/Pun in the Firestone Park Ward 7 Bowl
It’s tight that the closest matchup of week 1 came courtesy of my division, and more specifically, my neighborhood.
8.) Chuck Deal/The Golden Boy Farm Charlie/Conneaut Joe in the Danielle Smeach Bowl
Joe’s fantasy baseball dominance just doesn’t translate to fantasy football. The old Chanielle monster bit Joe in the face, shoved ping pong balls in his hinez, punched him in the face with keys on the fingers, chugged 23 beers in a row, and then dumped the 24th on his head.
9.) King of Cleveland/Dirt Mane Matty M/Mike Dilger in the CCF Employees & Buckaroo Bonzi Bowl
It’s always an honor and a treat tailgating with Big Matty M. It’s tight and random that Dilger knows Nick Toth. The Cleveland Clinic is proud of both of you, but Big Matty Eazzz dealt too much heartiness for a non cousin employee to handle. A wag of the finger to Dilger for being the low point man of the week.
10.) Off the Team/Daws Boot Brian Crez/Matt Cole in the KSU Fathers of Wadsworth Ohio Bowl
In 2033, Grady and Jude will be in this league and you guys will all be in the same division. In 2013 though, Matty C had a starting WR score 0 and still score 158+ and win by almost 25.
Mercy, mercy, me.
Beerdick
I denounce the cousinship