Ooo Whee, it’s already August. This year we have 4 candidates for the lusty position of 3rd Commissioner. As promised, each of them were given the same set of questions. Their responses are below:
Candidate 1
What is FFBMCO’S biggest strength?
The fact that we have been able to keep all of the owners for 4 years. Also the uniqueness of the league makes it fun.
What is FFBMCO’S biggest weakness?
TOO MANY DAMN KEEPERS!
Thoughts/ideas on how to address that issue?
Change it from 5 to 3 keepers. Cage match between Timmy and Brian.
How do you feel about the starting QB Insurance Policy?
I like it.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s waiver wire setup?
I see no reason to change it.
How do you feel about each team being required to keep 5 players?
Hate it. Mostly because my team blows though. Anybody got any running backs they wanna trade???
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s scoring, specifically the bonus points that are awarded?
Nothing needs to be changed about the scoring.
What do you think of the FFBMCO website?
IT’S PRETTY NEAT! Could use more porn though. I think we should bring in Brian Castle to write a new “Cooking with Joe” segment every week.
Will you bring any fresh/new ideas to the commissioning unit to benefit the league? If so , what?
I obviously really want less keepers. I will also probably oppose Brian on most issues. I’ll be the Donald Trump to his Hillary Clinton.
Any ideas for monthly prizes that haven’t been done yet?
No but I think the owner with the worst record should have to play Pokemon Go with Charlie for an hour as punishment.
Any closing remarks?
I hate this league but I also love it. I do think it needs some tweaks but at least it’s a welcome distraction from the shitty Browns.
—————————–Candidate 2—————————–
What is FFBMCO’S biggest strength?
The Golden Boy Farm
What is FFBMCO’S biggest weakness?
Everyone else
Thoughts/ideas on how to address that issue?
Everyone can save a lot of time and forfeit the 2016 title to me.
How do you feel about the starting QB Insurance Policy?
Insurance is for pussies.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s waiver wire setup?
It should be first come, first serve
How do you feel about each team being required to keep 5 players?
I’d like to get rid of the draft all together. Keep rosters the same every year.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s scoring, specifically the bonus points that are awarded?
To the victor goes the rewards
What do you think of the FFBMCO website?
It’s a bureaucratic mess. Time to clean it up and make our FFBMCO website great again!
Will you bring any fresh/new ideas to the commissioning unit to benefit the league?
I would support ideas of eliminating weak owners from our 20-team pool. Perhaps we could have a system like the British Premier league where three or four teams are regulated out of the league annually or biannually. Or if we want to give our owners a voice how about a vote every year to eliminate the weakest of our brotherhood and open up new opportunities for those waiting on the outside. As mentioned above I’d like to see keeper limits expanded and the draft essentially be regulated to existing non-roster talent and new NFL drafted talent. I think we should move to an auction form of player acquisition favoring the bold instead of rewarding the weak in our league. I also support an amendment to the original charter of the FFMBCO that makes each FFMBCO team the exclusive property of the owner assuming they make the $55 annual league payment. Therefore if said owner wants to sell his share of the team to an outside party for whatever profit, it should be allowed assuming both parties can agree on the $55 annual league payment.
Any ideas for monthly prizes that haven’t been done yet?
I leave all monthly competitions to Brine who seems to have the ear of the plebs
Any closing remarks?
Let us make the FFBMCO great again. This was not a league formed for the losers. It was formed to test the championship meddle of the men who chose a greater challenge than a 12-team standard league. We have losers in the league. Believe me. Believe me! And some of them will have to go. But by making the league harder, not easier, by trimming away some of the fat, we will make it a stronger and more attractive league for those who survive. In closing please wipe the blood from your ears, and your….whatever….and join me in making the FFMBCO great again!
—————————–Candidate 3—————————–
What is FFBMCO’S biggest strength?
Beating me off all football season long!
What is FFBMCO’S biggest weakness?
Not enough hot chicks in the league!
Thoughts/ideas on how to address that issue?
Kick out beaty douche bags and bring in hot broads!
How do you feel about the starting QB Insurance Policy?
Beats! Laissez faire for all!
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s waiver wire setup?
Beats! Should be based on waiver wire pickups and not the suckiest team each week.
How do you feel about each team being required to keep 5 players?
It’s delightful, my team is so tight I would want to keep more players.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s scoring, specifically the bonus points that are awarded?
All bonus points should be changed to 69!
What do you think of the FFBMCO website?
It needs videos of hot ho’s in bikinis mud wrestling each other!
Will you bring any fresh/new ideas to the commissioning unit to benefit the league? If so , what?
I pledge to have the draft held at Christies!
Any ideas for monthly prizes that haven’t been done yet?
Give away lap dances at Christies!
Any closing remarks?
Reelect me as your legendary commissioner and I will make sure we have hot skanks BMCO us all season and every season!
—————————–Candidate 4—————————–
What is FFBMCO’S biggest strength?
The closeness of the teams and potential for continuing strong rivalries. Also the universal disdain for one of the commissioners. Just like the real NFL.
What is FFBMCO’S biggest weakness?
The ratio between total teams and roster size. Waivers each week are a snooze for most.
Thoughts/ideas on how to address that issue?
Shrink team sizes. Get ideas on smaller bench or smaller starting spots etc.
How do you feel about the starting QB Insurance Policy?
Sucks but necessary since all teams don’t have the same on demand ability to jump on the waivers if their qb goes down.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s waiver wire setup?
With 20 teams, using rank as waiver is the best way to hope to keep all 20 teams viable every few years.
How do you feel about each team being required to keep 5 players?
5 is too many for a 20 team league.
How do you feel about FFBMCO’s scoring, specifically the bonus points that are awarded?
Bonus points are fun when you get them but suck when you lose because of bonus. Maybe tone it down a bit.
What do you think of the FFBMCO website?
An impressive labor of love that I must give props to the standing commissioners for maintaining each year.
Will you bring any fresh/new ideas to the commissioning unit to benefit the league? If so , what?
Increase Side games to keep all teams involved. Expand a losers bracket playoff so all teams can continue to play.
Any ideas for monthly prizes that haven’t been done yet?
Amazon gift cards. Removes any need to mail or pickup winnings.
Any closing remarks?
In closing i say to you to be tough and always root against Brian.
———————————————————————————————————
The poll will be open until end of day 8/12/16. The winner at that time will serve as the 3rd Commissioner until the conclusion of the Championship.
Keepers will need to be submitted by 08/22.
Your 2016 FFBMCO Draft will occur on 09/01.
