November 5, 2015 at 7:20 pm #962
Lock up your women! In a shocking move of confidence the Golden Boy Farmer has decided to start Johnny Football and his running make the Duke Johnson in a pivotal week 9 divisional match up with Big Matty’s King of Cleveland. The Stanonik had a dream that the Johnny Football era starts tonight and ends in the Super Bowl for the beaten down and bruised Brownies. Of course there were many a PBR and shots of ODT consumed last evening but the Stanonik was adamant about his decision to start Johnny Football in this crucial week 9 match up. The GBF lead by Johnny Football roles into Week 9 as the underdog for the first time all season and the Stanonik is eager to go big game hunting as he looks to push the GBF record to 8-1 and clinch a playoff spot. This week’s song of the week is “Street Fighting Man” by the Stones for the underdog nature of this week’s match up with the so called King of Cleveland. The Golden Boys are furiously preparing the GBF for the post-game Johnny Manziel coronation which promises to be as opulent as any coronation of a Russian Czar.
As for Week 8’s match up, it promised to be great match up between Red Right-88 division foes but after handing the GBF it’s only loss in Week 5 Dilinger’s group of flunkees saw the voracious hunger of the GBF and conceded the field of battle without a fight. The Stanonik was so angered by this concession that he flew into a fit of rage which included throwing bottles and cans of PBR in the direction of Dilinger for several hours. When the Golden Boy Farmer was calmed down to the point of speaking in complete sentences he had the following statement of the FFBMCO, “There has been much scuttlebutt this season that it is unfair that your peasant teams have to play a team as great and magnificent as the Golden Boy Farm. It has been suggested that the fabric of the league itself it set up in a way to make certain teams successful and other teams fail. As one of the great owners in this league I would like to say you are all LOSERS! You can’t handle the greatness of this league. I am working day and night to improve the roster of this farm and we have flunkees in this league who don’t set their lineups, forget to pickup the backup qb, and complain about the turds they draft HIGH in the draft. The success of this Golden Boy Farm is not by accident. I’m sure some of you owners are good people but most of you are cry baby bitches and whiners. If you come at the king you best not miss. If you flunkees can’t handle that then I’m sure many of you can find a nice 12-team yahoo league where you will have much more fun.”
The Golden Boy Farmer is eagerly awaiting the prophecy to be fulfilled with Johnny Football on Thursday Night Football. The GBF is also expecting big contributions from Rob Gronkowski going up against Washington which promises to have a Patriot beat up on more Redskins since Wounded Knee. The GBF will also look to pirate points from Big Matty’s Big Ben in his match up with Oakland in the from of his favorite WR Antonio Brown. A big Mad Max “I’ll drive that tanker” welcome back to the GBF to Johnny Football and a respectful Russian goodbye to Janikowski and then a stab in the back to Pierre Thomas (we barely knew thee). The GBF is speeding toward the FFBMCO championship like Colleen Crowley driving Johnny Football to the game this afternoon down route 71, plus the 70 mph speed limit, with no seat belts. All pedestrians get out of the way of this Golden Boy Farm! Toot Toot!
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