Well after another Professor Umbridge-like (nnnn Harry Potter reference) ruling by Roger “Mussolini” Goodell, Josh Gordon was forced to trade his Browns helmet in for a conga. He and Towelie have a lonely, long 364 days ahead of them. At least LeBron came back (He’s comin’ homeeeeee, comin’ homeeeeee, tell the world that he’s cominnn hommeeeeeee). And Uncle Drew reunited with Wes…And Brendan Haywood returned too.
In more league oriented news, the poll has closed on the “$50 with no side games” vs “$55 with side games” poll. The majority has spoken, and we will be paying $55 this year. As mentioned before, the extra $100 in cash will be put towards 4 side games during the season. League officials will announce the September game before next Thursday. Voting participation increased from 35% for the commissioners to 75% for this poll. Well done gents!!!
As a nice reward for improved participation, as well as a potential small consolation prize for the people that voted no, we are offering an additional reward free of cost…that is, the COME BACK TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD. The team that makes the biggest jump in improvement from last year will get either a 12er of their choice, or a case of non-booze liquid if you’re not a dirty alcoholic like the rest of us. The only catch is, the beer MUST BE A WINTER SEASONAL! Again, this treat in liquid form (12 alcoholic drinks, 24 non alcoholic drinks) has to be a winter seasonal if you go the beer route. A TIP OF THE HAT to the tri stater himself Nick Haithcock (A-Rod’s Brauny Bunch) for presenting this idea to the league. From here on out, this will always be a winnable award for team owners and it requires no extra payment.
Will YOUR picture be opposite of Clark W. Griswold’s come December?
Finally, in an effort to publicly humiliate cheapskates, stragglers, skip skaps and scallywags, we will post regular updates of who has paid for the league thus far and who has not. If your name is highlighted in green, a TIP OF THE HAT TO YOU! Even if you suck this year, you’re not really in danger of being “asked to leave” due to your prompt on the ball persona. Now if you’re not green in this chart, it’s not quite the end of the world yet. Just make sure you pay before week 2 of the NFL season starts. Gotta give a big shout out to the PNC EIM data analysts who are all paid already. Also our owner who lives the furthest away, GJ ZWICK ZWICK ZWICK Farina (Best in the World , location-Chicago soon to be Seattle). Plus Shaun I guess, by technicalities.
Why Postpone the Misery Into the Season?
