The ratbirds of Baltimore attempted to swarm First Energy Stadium through the fog on Sunday. They weren’t ready for the feisty, undefeated at home?!?! Brownies waiting for them. In a grueling AFC North 12-9 pitchers duel, the team from the Northcoast straddled the line of Cleveland Brown and Typical Clown, but once again the Cleveland Brown in ’em took over and they beat the previously 3-1 Ravens! Some of the Baltimore defensive players were sulking on a Ravens couch after the game saying things like “Baker telegraphs his throws” and “yeah we know what kind of quarterback he is” after their gut wrenching loss. Baker Baker Victory Maker caught wind of this. He grabbed his crotch, grabbed a flag, stormed into the visitors club house in his muddy uniform and cleats and planted the Browns flag directly into the pleather while writhing around making the couch as muddy as possible. Those dirty birds quickly fled Cleveland. In attendance for this spectacle were the owners of King of Cleveland, Timmy Derps Derpers, Team Punisher & FunkyEngineThatCould. Do you know what this means?
It means that when a fifth of FFBMCO is present at First Energy, THE CLEVELAND BROWNS NEVER LOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLESS’M to LM’s Gamb…wait a second??? Oh man!!! Correction! Bless’m to none other than league co-founder Chesty McDoons for dropping the week 5 high of 137.12 clams, the first time the Gamblerz haven’t gotten accolades! Well done Shaunnie Herrick, former junk food guru of mystery! However LMs Gamblerz did win their match to remain a perfect 5-0. Who is willing to stand up and be the road block to perfection?!?!
Another Bless’m goes out to everyone’s favorite chef….CONNEAUT JOE! BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BITCH! The furry owner of The Golden Boy Farm is the league’s first 50 win franchise. The farm is still lively as ever with this milestone, those boys work hard but by the looks of things they sure play even harder, especially on the farm. I wonder what kind of secret sauce Conneaut Joe is splashing into his dishes for his farmhands?
A beaty Beat’m this week to league heel Dirt Mane. His questionable, borderline unacceptable style of managing his team shitted out 59.92 points. Many commissioner roundtables have been had so far, but so far Dirt Mane is on the strike free legal side of FFBMCO, but he is treading in dangerous waters. The league is too classy to get into dirty details here, but we are aware many of you have observed some stuff. BEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There has been a mountain of season 6 trades that haven’t been published here. Let’s fire them out in chronological order, shall we?
8/29
Chuck Deal sends away:
C. McCaffrey, C. Sutton, K. Cousins
954 Vice City sends away:
J.Cook, L.Miller, J. Gordon
8/31
954 Vice City sends away:
2019 1st round pick
Leonard Washingtons sends away:
M. Crabtree
2019 5th round pick
9/25 (phase 1)
FunkyEngineThatCould sends away:
2019 Round 3 pick
Best in the World sends away:
2019 Round 8 pick, Ryan Tannehill
—Phase II—
FunkyEngineThatCould sends away:
2019 Round 4 pick, Ryan Tannehill
Best in the World sends away:
2019 Round 4 pick
9/25
Brick Tamland sends away:
Robert Woods, 2019 6th rd pick
954 Vice City sends away:
C. Sutton, 2019 3rd rd pick
9/26
Brick Tamland sends away:
J. Edelman, 2019 3rd rd pick, 2020 5th rd pick
Best in the World sends away:
D. Freeman, 2019 7th rd pick, 2020 8th rd pick
10/02
The Golden Boy Farm sends away:
A. Luck
Daws Boot sends away:
M. Mariota, T.Boyd
10/10
954 Vice City sends away:
R.Ellison, 2019 4th rd pick
Leonard Washingtons sends away:
C.Uzomah, 2019 7th rd pick
(phase 1)
Timmy Derps Derpers sends away:
D. Carr, 2019 8th rd pick
Poo Punchers Unrated sends away:
L. Jackson, 2019 3rd rd pick
—(phase 2)—
TBD, coming next week
Look at all that action! BLESS’M TO ALL YA’LL OWNERS STRIVING FOR GREATNESS!!!
Please note…THE TRADE DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER, 10 2018! LESS THAN 1 MONTH AWAY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Just a heart throbby little reminder that FFBMCO has 2 free real time chat features for your pleasure. If you’re laying on the couch by yourself, watching football in silence maybe your experience could be enhanced by firing out shots at your opponent at either the FFBMCO site (http://ffbmco.com aka this site for the Nick Fischers of the world) by logging in and scrolling down and focusing in on the right side of the homepage –
This guy gets it.
Also there’s the GroupMe app mentioned a few posts back. Commissioner Chuck Deal politely added everyone initially to it, many instantly got right out. If you want back in, just contact one of the commissioners.
Some people call it EazMe instead of GroupMe.
Wrapping up, the current contest leader is 50 win man Conneaut Joe…BAMMMMM BITCH! If he wins he gets to choose a big pile of treats that he can maybe incorporate into his cuisine.
Pun was down for the all leather challenge at the rural masculine battlefield but came up just short as The Golden Boy Farm squeaked out a tough victory of Team Punisher in a 107.2-104.82 men on men sweat show. So the victorious difference to beat is 2.38 points.
Standings through 5 below.
League office has Alabama Shakes – Sound & Color playing through the building.
Ryan Gosling starred in the Say Cheese and Die episode of Goosebumps and now he’s starring in the reboot titled “First Man.”
Farewell
