Week 1 has been put to rest and good riddance. In Typical Clowns fashion, the Browns show up completely unprepared to their opening game and get flat out embarassed for a half, just to come back to tie it late and then lose with time expiring. Antonio Brown delivered the most symbolic gesture of the Browns/Steelers relationship for the past 15 years.
Keep padding that cherished stat of shittiest season opener record in history boys!
Going from the micro ineptness of a poorly run franchise within the NFL, we have to comment on the macro ineptness and idiocy of the league commissioner. Roger Goodell is making people hate this league for a variety of reasons. We can’t let him deter us from our F.F.B.M.C.O. goals. We just need to HATE HATE HATE him and hope he goes away someway, somehow.
His most recent fuck up is his most epic. Going from “Ray Rice is suspended for 2 games for beating the hell out of his fiance/wife,” to “I bothced that, STARTING NOW we have a 1 strike domestic abouse offense which means a 6 game suspension and then a league ban for a second offense,” to pulling the “Oh shit, the actual video leaked?! Uh, the league never saw that!,” to finally suspending Ray Rice indefinitely AFTER his team had already cut him shows how clueless he is about life, running an organization, showing common sense, and having black and white procedures & rules that are consistent. Ray Rice, you’re a classless piece of garbage, FFBMCO will not miss you either.
On to more cheerful news. 75% of the league is paid. The remaining 5 owners have until next Monday 09/15 to pay. In person, via mail, over the internet, whatever.
Big Cheers to Dirt Mane and Burkhardt Bandits for winning their openers this past week. They picked 2 and 3 overall respectively in our past draft. Nicely done. But the more things change, the more they stay the same as Brick Tamland drops another league high (144.06) on all of us behind that Peyton Manning muscley arm. As it stands, Bob is taking the Amazon gift card home but there are still 3 more weeks of games for one of us to top that 144.06 mark.
Jeers to recently elected Third Commissioner Adam Daniel Tillett (Lord of the Reamed) for sputtering out of the gate with a league wide week 1 low of 67.56. Some of the folks in this league may think that your team played like ___________.
Finally, who knows if this is a Cheer or a Jeer, but Charlie Sweeney is always the one to go to if you want to win pretty much any bet of any kind. I encourage the other 18 owners to take full advantage of this. The owner of Chuck Deal will now graciously provide FunkyEngineThatCould with two tasty Imperial Pumkings the next time the two meet because of his lack of reason.
Muni Lot Sunday anyone?! (sigh)
FINISH HIM!
