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  • in reply to: 2016 3rd Commissioner Candidates #1057

    JoeS
    Member

    (Live from a podium outside the Golden Boy Farm)

    Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Eli Manning.

    (Eli dressed in a pair of 1980s basketball shorts, a loose fitting tank top, and lotioned up for the hot Conneaut summer days steps to the podium labeled “Stanonik”)

    Eli: Welcome everybody. Today I have the honor of introducing a man who needs no introduction. His legend has been built and his accomplishments are too many to name. That man is the master of this Golden Boy Farm. Most people spend their lives to succeed in one field, but our master has succeeded in many, at the high level, and on a global scale. He has enjoyed success in a vast number of fantasy leagues because the common denominator is him, his vision, his brilliance, his passion, his work ethic, and his refusal to take no for an answer. I’ve enjoyed the good fortune of working alongside our master for ten years now and I have seen these principles in action daily. I remember his telling me as a rookie quarter back “Eli, if you are going to be thinking, you might as well think big.” And that is how he approaches any task he takes. He thinks BIG! Our league finds itself at a crossroads and in need of BIG thinkers. We have owners in this league who are small mined, who are lazy, and who do not have the vision to compete in the league. If we do not adapt, our league will be left behind. Our master will inspire them to do great things. He has the strength to do great things and inspire those are around him. Ladies and gentlemen it is my honor to introduce a man who I have loved and respected my entire life the leader of our Golden Boy Farm, Joseph Stanonik.

    (the camera spans to the second level of the building where Golden Boy President Joseph Stanonik descends on an escalator to “Keep On Rocking In The Free World” by Neil Young. Once on the first floor, Mr. Stanonik steps to the podium)

    Thank you. Thank You. It is great to be at the Golden Boy Farm again. This is the greatest crowd ever. This is beyond anyone’s expectations. Now let me tell you something, some of the other candidates who are running for this pot have politely announced their candidacy on this board. Their messages were short and concise and showed no passion for the position they were applying for. No passion for the owners they will be representing. They will sweat like pigs if (and only if you allow them to be) they are under the pressure of the real interests that run our great league. I don’t think that is going to happen.
    Our league is in serious trouble people! We don’t aspire to be great anymore! We bitch and moan about why certain teams are successful, why certain teams have been able to stack their rosters, why certain teams always make the playoffs. Maybe it is because we don’t pick winners to lead us. But I beat these people all the time! Now when our founders put our league together they did their best to find 20 committed owners. They had the purist of intentions. I can promise you that. But let us be honest with ourselves for a moment. All 20 owners are not the best. Some of these owners have many problems. They are lazy. They are whiners. They want the rule bent in their advantage so they don’t have to carry a backup quarterback. They want to redraft every year because building a roster to win in this league is hard. And I assume some are good people too. But most seek to water down the greatness of the FFBMCO. This has to stop and it has to stop fast. Our enemies are getting stronger and stronger by the day and we as a league are getting weaker and weaker.
    I love this league. Believe me. Believe me. And I have benefited as much as anyone from the lack of quality owners in our league. Believe me. No one has had more success than me. But we are broken. The FFBMCO is not a great league anymore. And it can only be great again if you elect me to be your commissioner to fight for your rights with our founding commissioners. I will make this FFMBCO bigger and greater than it has ever been. And together we will make the FFMBCO great again!

    in reply to: 2016 3rd Commissioner Candidates #1056

    JoeS
    Member

    That is not correct brine. We may have a fourth candidate making his magnificent, super luxurious, and classy nomination. All members of the FFBMCO please stand by for an upcoming announcement on the candidacy of Comrade Stanonik who may announce his candidacy in an effort to make our league great again. A press conference will be held any time up to (but not after) July 31st to address if Comrade Stanonik will lend his marvelous skills, his fantasy football acumen, and genius brain to save our great league from the losers who run it.

    in reply to: Week 5 from the Golden Boy Farm (Old Dan Tucker Edition) #937

    JoeS
    Member

    Like Icarus the Golden Boy Farm flew to close to the sun. Time to build stronger wings!

    in reply to: Haters Gonna Hate – Donald Trump/Golden Boy Farm Edition #893

    JoeS
    Member

    Andrew Luck, Antonio Brown, and Gronk were all drafted by me in the initial FFBMCO league draft when you peasants were squabbling over Shonn Greene and Ronnie Hillmans of the world. I feel like I’m playing chess in a league full of people playing checkers.

    in reply to: Haters Gonna Hate – Donald Trump/Golden Boy Farm Edition #892

    JoeS
    Member

    Well I can give you the recap myself:

    Shaun Herrick: Drew Brees for Eddie Lacy

    Timmy Stifler: Mike Evans and my #1 2015 draft pick for Jamaal Charles and a lower pick.

    Don’t be mad because I’m better than you and have worked the trade market and draft like a young precocious Ron Wolf in a league filled of Ray Farmers and Tom Heckerts. #wreckthisleague

    in reply to: FFBMCO Owner Violations #881

    JoeS
    Member

    Don’t worry brine….I’m safe…. (on the phone as brine is yanked out of bed to clean up a street full of broken glasses by the Kent police via Marcy & Joey Bear)

    in reply to: Tight Things From 1994!!!!! #707

    JoeS
    Member

    in reply to: Tight Things From 1994!!!!! #705

    JoeS
    Member

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by  JoeS.
    in reply to: Tight Things From 1994!!!!! #703

    JoeS
    Member

    The Original Big 3!

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by  JoeS.
    in reply to: Tight Things From 1994!!!!! #702

    JoeS
    Member

    Hold On To Your Butts

    in reply to: Amstel Light #459

    JoeS
    Member

    Charlie should not be allowed to run anything. The idea that he has a small family terrifies me! A public action committee should be created to stop this bear from every presiding over us again. I would also note that Longville/Sweeney collusion is absolutely the worst kind of collusion imaginable.

    in reply to: Season 1 Feedback #390

    JoeS
    Member

    Baby Chase beats!

    in reply to: And so it begins #320

    JoeS
    Member

    Adam, I think you mean polite females.

    in reply to: Rivalry Weeks #252

    JoeS
    Member

    I love the bowl name! But possible replacements:

    The Chase Sweeney Memorial Bowl Game
    The Brian Castle Cage Match
    The “It’s Official” Rock’um Sock’um
    The Five Fingers to the Face Duel
    Man vs. Bear Duel to the Death

    in reply to: Side Bet Delights #251

    JoeS
    Member

    Brine and I have bet:

    $20 that the Dolphins will beat the Cleveland Browns in WK01

    $20 that the Browns will win 10 games (9 games is the push).

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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