We met some time ago,
When we were so young.
We’ve been through thick and thin,
We’ve lost, we’ve tied, we’ve won.
A decade long, we’re still here,
We’ll be here till the end of years.
We’ll be FFBMCO forever,
Til the end of time.
Friends forever,
With you everywhere.
Friends forever,
Always will be friends.
We had a field trip,
Marcy Kellner quickly dipped.
It was a fun as fuck day,
16 of our brothers hit Erie Shores – YAAAAYYYYYY!
If you’re down,
I’ll pick you up,
I’ll never let you fall.
If you ever need someone,
I’m waiting for your call.
Winning team dropped a minus five,
Only won by a stroke THAT’S STAYIN ALIVE!
Oh it’s true our shirts came late,
But put em on cuz they feel great.
We’ll be friends forever,
We’ll be friends,
Talkin’ ’bout friends…
Always will be there,
Will be there. Will be there.
Little Michael and his cousin Bri,
Grunting GJ and Conneaut Joe say hi.
Saying hi from the winners podiumn,
Like Young Jeezy said we’re just tryna watch our sodium.
Through it all, hangin’ tough,
We’ll stay side by side.
We’ll be friends forever,
Till the end of time.
All 20 are back this year yet again,
So get that FFBMCO logo tatted on your skin.
We only have one new rule this time,
We’ll sing it loud in the next few lines!
Ohhhhhhh NEWWWWWW RULE!
Time to be so cool,
YEAH YEAH YEAH a NEWWWWWW COOL RU-ULE!
Let’s break it down for youuuu.
Starting now our rosters must…
Only have QBs from a total of two different teams cuz it’s right and just.
Backup rule still sure applies,
If you’re crying over this rule please dry your eyes.
To be clear let me pause on rhymes…
YOU CAN ONLY ROSTER QBs FROM A MAXIMUM OF TWO NFL TEAMS!!!
You catch my drift my fellow buds?
Let’s get back to rhymin even though CLE fired Chud.
Who will be commissioner three?
Gee I dunno, cast your vote as a favor to me.
We’ll vote on them like we always do,
They break ties & choose prizes that’s goddamn true.
Another pause in our melody,
Meet your candidates and be tickled with Glee –
1. Let’s start light. Tell us a joke…
Candidate A: I lost three fingers on my right hand, so I asked my doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
Candidate B: You know what they say about fantasy drafting while camping… ITS IN TENTS DRAFTING!
2.If you were hosting a party, what would your opening song on the playlist be?
Candidate A: Lou Bega ‘Mambo No. 5’
Candidate B: My House – Flo Rida
3.If you could pick 3 other people alive or dead to sit down with you for dinner, who would you choose and why?
Candidate A: Jesus, Michael Jordan, my Grandpa Dick.
Candidate B: The Rock, Mark Wahlberg, and Kevin Hart – Pretty positive I could land a guest role in their next Netflix masterpiece!
4.At a very general level, how do you handle conflict?
Candidate A: I’m emotional so I react that way but I feel like as I’ve aged like a fine wine I’ve gotten a lot better at remaining calm. Marriage and kids will do that!
Candidate B: Firstly, confused at why anything ever rises to the level of angry conflict, secondly, befuddled at the emotionally driven reasons for the conflict, and finally, objectively and logically laying out a decision and why that decision was made and moving on with the fantasy football season.
5.Read any good books lately? What was the last book that you read?
Candidate A: Sellout by Dan Ozzi. Basically chronicles over 10 bands that I listened to growing up and how they became famous and the pitfalls of the record industry.
Candidate B: The first chapter of the Silmarillion. Then realized I didn’t have the fortitude or attention span to finish that crazy writing. Before that a tight Les Roberts book starring Cleveland native Milan Jakovich solving mysteries around the city.
6.What is FFBMCO’s biggest strength?
Candidate A: The ownership. I think we’ve only lost 1 or 2 owners in 10 years?
Candidate B: The people! Just reminisce about the golf outing a few weeks back.
7.What is FFBMCO’s biggest weakness, and thoughts/ideas on how to address said weakness?
Candidate A: Keeping things fresh. I think we do a good job of trying to spice things up but sometimes if you don’t have a great roster it can become stale. But I guess that’s the point of the league! Gotta stay on top of your shit and figure out a way to make your team relevant again.
Candidate B: 20 Team size always creates unique situations with player availability that require unique solutions. I love the 20 team size just still trying to perfect how to handle injured players that may leave a hole on your roster.
8.Do you have any ideas on monthly prizes that haven’t been awarded in the past? If not, what were some of your favorite prizes that were open to the league to be won?
Candidate A: Massages with tiny towels.
Candidate B: Polite MEATS! Maybe a burgers and/or dogs package??. Always love the beers, FFBMCO logo gear, and amazon gift cards for flexible prize choosing as well!
9.Should anything outside the standard prize money, champion feast & trophy updating occur if a future champion has a flawless undefeated season culminating in a title?
Candidate A: They should get their own custom made trophy/plaque commemorating the perfect season.
Candidate B: Undefeated player shall get free entry the following year and all others will be charged only $3 more to cover such a fantastical feat of ferocious fantasy football!
10.What is/was your favorite Sunday morning comic in the newspaper?
Candidate A: Garfield??? I miss reading the toy ads in the Sunday newspaper as a kid.
Candidate B: Oh man it’s between Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield for me with Calvin and Hobbes probably taking the crown.
11.Is winning the league or is seeing the entire league enjoy the season more important to you?
Candidate A: Just win baby!
Candidate B: Entire league enjoyment for sheezy! When everyone is engaged and participating its worth every penny of the entry fee just to enjoy the season. Winning is always icing on the cake but if everyone is grumpy when you win it’s just not nearly as fun!
12.After the smashing success of our 10 year anniversary outing, should the league try and organize an annual get together of some sort or just stick to milestone years (10 year, 20 year, 25th etc.)?
Candidate A: I think an annual outing would be easy to do. The course we played was perfect and then we can rent cabins/stay at Charlie’s and hit up Geneva on the Lake after. I would be happy to help organize an annual outing and it could just be voluntary. No prizes and whatnot. Just a way for us to hang out.
Candidate B: Based on how delightful the golfing was but how disparate the after golf events were, maybe we just try to plan a tee time every year with a no pressure invite and then everyone can decide on their own what kind of after events(if any) are done. Should never feel like an obligation!
13.You may not have heard or had time to dwell on it, but what is your opinion of the new QB rule prohibiting an FFBMCO team from owning QBs from more than two NFL teams? (That is, you can’t have 3 QBs that play on 3 different NFL teams)
Candidate A: I like it. I think we have put good rules into play to make the QB situation fair.
Candidate B: An interesting experiment to see if this will help with the injured starting QB issue we have seen happen over the years. I am optimistic it will also slow down the QB hoarding to create artificial trade bait due to scarcity moreso than due to a QBs actual value. Looking forward to seeing how it all plays out!
14. Closing remarks/notes:
Candidate A: No thank you.
Candidate B: Vote for me…and you’ll be…in a world of fantasy football heavenly delights!
We Locked our keepers by August two-nine,
But can’t have Tua cuz that Hawaiian’s mine.
Our draft is set for September six,
LOGIN ON TIME so your team’s in the mix.
Looks our continuation pool is 120,
That means 6 said yeah including me.
It’s been a decade of bliss with all of you,
FFBMCO Corporate wishes nothing but the best for you it’s true-ue-ueeeeeee!
One more time now!
Friends forever,
We’ll be friends,
Talkin’ ’bout friends.
Always will be there,
Yeah, yeah friends.
Always be friends.
We’ll be friends together.
Yes we will,
Yes we will,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh.
FFBMCO forever,
We’ll be friends,
Talkin’ bout FFBMCO.
Always will be there,
Yeah, yeah FFBMCO.
Always be FFBMCO.
We’ll be FFBMCO together.
Yes we will,
Yes we will, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oohhhh.
