Baker beat.
Weird game.
Browns win! That’s what good teams do, figure out a way! Rickadoo HOSTILE ROAD ENVIRONMENT! Rickadoo DEFENSE LOOKING MEAN! Get healthy Browns!
The September contest winner was Joe Kline and The Replacements as DJ Moore held on to the lowest probability reception percentage. In honor of Josh Gordon’s 420th return to the NFL, Joe went all smoke. Smoked Gouda, English Cheddar, Habanero Cheddar and Hot Pepper cheese. Grandpa’s Cheesebarn…CHEESE, IT’S GOOD!
As mentioned while on holiday, the October contest is the fastest running cheetah, I mean FFBMCO starter who was a ball carrier in a game. Right now that honor belongs to Henry Ruggs of Off the Team…BUT WAIT! He was on the bench! So that means the fastest ball carrier (during this contest) is…DJ MOORE! The Replacements is taking all the side contests unless someone steps up! DJ Moore had a 6 yard rush while running a zippy 21.38 mph. I think Joe might be scouring the interwebs for a custom made Grandpa’s Cheesebarn fanny pack??? GRANDPA’S CHEESEBARN! … CHEEEEESE, IT’S GOOD!!!
TREMENDOUS! LM’s Gamblerz dropped 153.76 points in his week 4 match! I wonder if he set his lineup while relaxing on the … NAPPER CRAPPER 9000!!!???
DISASTER! Stand Your Ground had the week 4 low of a not too horrible sum of 71.56. Poor Scott was just yearning for some Biscuits and Porn to be imported off the Banks and delivered to his house on the mainland and maybe it negatively impacted his roster management with Joey B riding pine in Primetime?
Big news in the HUMANITY department to share!!! Our league’s newest member Wil MacDougall who runs the upstart 3-1 Belicheckmate squad was gifted child #3 with the birth of baby Noah on 9/24. CONGRATS WIL AND FAM!
We’re heading into week 5 and we only have one undefeated team. Who? Yep. You guessed it…THE REPLACEMENTS!
Before we sign off for another week, Conneaut Joe of The Golden Boy Farm made a quick FB post about his accolades. He is correct. He is FFBMCO’S first franchise to hit 70 wins as well as hitting five figures in total regular season points accumulated.
In honor of Conneaut Joe’s great feat, please read his short high level summary as to how and why he likes the Cleveland Browns again…if you have a young child, feel free to read this to them each night as a bedtime story:
Before anyone ever cared which football team I rooted for, I was a kid from Cleveland, OH. I was born here. I grew up here. I went to school here. I’ve made my home here. This is where I bled. It holds a special place in my heart. I grew up in a culture of Browns football. My dad was a fan. My mom was a fan. My sister is a fan. Most of my friends are fans or have become fans as adults. I realize for many here, Browns football on Sundays is like a religion. And for many of you who have left our region for various opportunities in life it is the thing that continues to connect you to our region and our community. When you grow up in a community that is as passionate as we are for Cleveland Browns football sometimes it can be overwhelming. It is easy to snicker at their failings as a franchise and project those failings on the fans who have been so loyal and dedicated to the dream of what Cleveland Browns football can be. But these are my people and I want to be a part of them. I want to embrace the hope of our community. My relationship with the Cleveland Browns is bigger than football. I didn’t know that five years ago. I do now.
I remember sitting at the Basement Bar & Grill in 2016 in my Steelers gear. I was thinking, “This is really hard.” I could feel the weight of it. I could feel myself betraying my friends, my family, my community. I could feel and see the anger and disappointment my decision had caused for others. I made a choice to leave something that I spent a long time investing in. I want everyone reading this to know that no matter what I’ve said in the past the Browns did mean something to me. I remember being beyond hopeful in 1999 when the team returned that Tim Couch would be the next Peyton Manning and Courtney Brown would be our Reggie White. I loved when Butch Davis came here in 2001 and made winning a priority again. I had visions of a Browns dynasty that would rival the Paul Brown teams of the 40s and 50s. I still remember celebrating “Run William Run” with my high school friends at the Kris Kringle classic. I want people reading this to know that when I’ve said in the past that I’m “not a Browns fan” or that I never felt connected to the “expansion” Browns that is not true. I lived through the pain of Romeo, and Holmgren, and Joe Banner, and Mike Pettine. Many of you will remember how optimistic I was about Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden, and Johnny Manziel. The losing was a lot but somewhere along the way it became even more than just the losing. It was the hopelessness of the regime running the team. It made me bitter. It made me cynical. Most Browns fans who knew me well in 2014 and 2015 will attest to you that I was a miserable fan and I wasn’t pleasant to be around for games, drafts, or other team activities. I took it all too seriously. Most importantly I didn’t demonstrate the value of our community in our fandom and I often criticized those who did. Loyalty. Commitment. Endurance. Dedication. Grit.
If I had to do it all over again I would obviously do things differently, but I still would have left. I want everyone reading this to understand that in my five years away from the team I believe I’ve become a better fan and a better man. Being a Steelers fan, for me, was like how many kids in our own community root for a team of their choice (often because of the national success they have). I never had that experience in life. I have always been a Indians/Guardians fan. I always rooted for the Buckeyes. In basketball I’ve always been a Cavs fan even though I flirted with being a Reggie Miller Pacers fan in my youth. As we age I think many of those children find themselves returning to their home teams as adults because of the values and community we hold most dear to us. It is our roots. It is what grounds us.
I would like to explain the choice to root for the Steelers in a little more detail here. Some of you already know my logic and have made a determination on how legitimate it is. All I can do is be as honest as I can be. If you choose not to believe me I understand. I think it is a hard thing for many people who haven’t lived my life experience to understand my logic. What I would like you to know is that picking the Steelers was not random. I didn’t pick them because they had a winning history, or were on the verge of a Super Bowl title, or because they always beat the Browns. Where I’m from in Conneaut, OH (on the OH/PA border) there are about half Browns fans and half Steelers fans. While I always considered my home a “Cleveland Browns” home, I had many friends and even family who identified as “Pittsburgh Steeler” fans. These people have always meant a lot to me as well. And it pains me if they are disappointed in my decision today. When the Browns moved in 1995 it was easy to shift my allegiances to Pittsburgh. I grew up loving Jerome Bettis, Greg Lloyd, Kordell Stewart just as much as I love Eric Metcalf, Kevin Mack, Michael Dean Perry, Clay Matthews, and Bernie Kosar. In my household growing up we never hated the Steelers. As my dad always put it, he hoped they would win every game except the two times they played the Browns. When the Browns returned in 1999 I had to make a choice for who I would invest my time as a fan. I chose the Browns because in my heart I knew I will always be a Browns fan. It was the right choice then and it is the right choice now. That said I will not deny that I will always be somewhat conflicted about these two teams. Both pull at my heart strings. I feel I am a fan of both organizations and I want to see both organizations be successful but I cannot deny that I want the Browns to be more successful.
I am doing this essay because I want an opportunity to explain myself uninterrupted. I don’t want anyone thinking “Joe is a front-runner….He is jumping ship back to the Browns just when they are getting good and the Steelrs are getting bad….or the Steelers are in decline. That is absolutely not true. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a great organization that will continue to be one for decades. I’ve heard Browns fans for most of my life talk about how the Steelers will collapse just when Kevin Greene, or Greg Lloyd, or Jerome Bettis, or Hines Ward, or now Ben Roethlisberger retires. I admire the kind of organization the Pittsburgh Steelers have and I hope it is the kind of organization Andrew Berry, Paul DePodesta, and Kevin Stefanski are building here in Cleveland. I chose the Pittsburgh Steelers because of the success I saw in Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell. I grew to love Big Ben and T.J. Watt. Those teams will always have a special place in my heart. I also want to acknowledge that I admire the Rooney family and the stance they took in 1995 when they opposed the Browns move to Baltimore. The Rooney family doesn’t get enough credit for that in our city and they should. The Pittsburgh Steelers are truly our brothers in the AFC north. Most of my heart is with the Cleveland Browns but part of it will always remain in Pittsburgh with the Steelers.
When I left the Cleveland Browns five years ago, I never imagined I would be saying the things I am saying today. Many of you will remember how I called them a “zombie” or “pet cemetery” franchise. I often said “some things are better left dead” which to me meant not having a football team was better than the teams that often lost 11 or 12 games and in 2015 went 1-15 and followed that up in 2016 with a 0-16. I took joy in mocking Browns fans for their team’s failure. Most of this was to mask my own frustrations with the team, especially how they couldn’t even compete on the field with the Baltimore Ravens who in their 20 years since leaving Cleveland had become the kind of organization I always wanted here. When I left for Pittsburgh I embraced being the “heel” amongst my Browns friends and family. I reveled in breaking the rules and being a disruptor. I encouraged others to join me and “quit the Browns.” But over the last five years I have grown to look at things differently. In my time rooting for Pittsburgh I learned to be more patient. I learned football didn’t need to be taken so seriously. It is a game, one we all want to win at, but it isn’t life and death. Many in our own community are struggling with life and death issues much larger than the Cleveland Browns every day. I’ve learned to become more mellow and less bitter and angry. I learned that I can separate the city and the fans from a franchise that has historically been a loser. The franchise’s failures do not make the fans or the city losers. Mostly though I want all my friends and family who have responded to my change in fandom in 2016 to know I heard their concerns. I was moved by them. People who I never imagined would care if I root for this team or that team told me how shocking and disappointed they were that I was quitting the Browns. At that moment I wanted to be stubborn and push through those reservations. I realize I was wrong. I think many of you grew to accept my choice but few grew to love or embrace it. I realize I’ve done harm to my reputation as a fan that can probably never be undone.
In my time away the Browns have surprisingly built a competent organization with exciting young players. I realize the criticism coming back now draws. I realize many of you will always view me as a traitor who quit his team at its lowest point and only came back when they began to win. To that criticism I can only say your hate and criticism doesn’t compare with the shame which I have for myself for not being able to tough out the bad years. While I do not regret my time being a Steelers fan I do regret that I couldn’t endure the pain with you Browns fans as you found your way out of the wilderness. It is true that I watched almost every Browns game over the last five years but it was easier to dismiss the pain by saying “well that isn’t my team anymore.” I want to say here that I was wrong to believe the future of the Cleveland Browns was hopeless. I was wrong to believe that Jimmy and Dee Haslam couldn’t build a successful football team. I was wrong that many of the analytic people like Andrew Berry and Paul DePodesta hired by ownership couldn’t build a winning team and culture. The successes of the past five years are not mine. They are yours. I remember watching Browns fans celebrate the end of the 21-game losing streak and Baker’s first win on Thursday night football in 2018. That is your win. I remember clowning the Baltimore Ravens in 2019. That is your win. I remember beating the Steelers in Heinz Field in January this year. That is your win. They will forever be yours. And they will never be mine.
I am often approached by Browns fans with comments and questions like “Big Ben is getting old” or “the Steelers are in decline” or “which team will you root for now?” I’ve often joked that if I could quit the Browns it would be less hard for me to quit the Steelers. That isn’t exactly true though. It is painful to walk away from an organization that has had the success the Steelers have had and and I know will continue to have in the future. I often have told people that I viewed my “Steeler fanhood” in my youth as the “girl that got away” and I needed to explore that romance. But I have realized after these five years that my heart will always remain with the Browns. I feel now I can put my divided loyalty somewhat to bed. While I can admire their organization and success it is not my success. It doesn’t bring me the joy potential Browns wins bring me. As a fan I aspire to be a champion but Pittsburgh already knows that feeling many times over. Our city and our Browns do not. And over the last year (as many of us reevaluated what is important in life) I found myself confronting one single truth: when my team wins the Super Bowl I want it to be the Cleveland Browns.
I want to be clear, I’m not rejoining the Browns because I think they are close to winning a championship. I know how hard that road is from my time with the Steelers. We have really tough teams in our path. I would love to win next year but I’m realistic. It will be a long process. My patience will be tested. I know that. It will be easy to say “same old Browns” when they lose a few games in a row or make some blunder in the playoffs. This is a young team with a young coach but there is a lot of promise that they can get to a place no Browns team has ever reached. I think Baker can be one of the best QBs in the league. I think Myles is a beast at pass rusher. I think Nick Chubb and Jarvis are special people and talents. The organization has brought in even more young and exciting players in the last three years. But I remember what happened in 1995 or 2003 or 2008 whe we flopped after we had promising seasons prior to that. I preach patience to Jimmy and Dee Haslam and the people who run our Browns and I realize it is the same kind of patience I need to practice in my fandom. I recognize the risk I am making here by leaving a team that has won six Superbowl trophies for one that has never won one. There is a chance I may never see my team win a Superbowl. But I’d rather lose as a Browns fan than win with another team. I know that now.
When I think of Cleveland Browns football I often think of my father who has always been a Browns fan. I think of the time we have shared watching (admittedly terrible) Browns football games. I think about him telling me about the teams of his youth with Jim Brown, Frank “the professor” Ryan, Gene Hickerson, Gary Collins, Paul Warfield, and Ernie Green. I think about my mom who was a kardiac kid and her favorite player was Brian Sipe. I think about how many of my friends are named “Brian” because we are babies of that kardiac kid era. I think about some of my earliest memories of wearing a Bernie Kosar jersey when I was just a toddler. I think about watching fans walk down to the old stadium on Sundays when my parents would take us into the city for the weekend. I think about listening to the 1994 playoff upset of the New England Patriots on the radio in my dad’s car. I think about the crazy offensive explosion in 2007 with Braylon, Kellen, Jamal, and DA and how much I wanted to love that team. I think about “cave-man” football with Peyton Hillis in 2011. I think of all the time I’ve spent watching Browns games with my friends and family and what those memories mean to me. I think of watching “Draft Day” with Kelly on a random Tuesday afternoon with like ten people in the theater and making her laugh with my rants while the Browns fans in the theater cheered for the fictional version of the Browns. I think of bringing her levity and joy when I would send her “send in the clowns” or “yakety sax” memes. These memories are all so special to me and frankly mean more to me than any amount of winning ever can. I’ve learned that even though at times I may “want” to be a Steelers fan, I will always be a Browns fan in my heart. Most of the people I love in this world love the Browns. I was never going to leave the Steelers for anyone except the Browns. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy.
This is not about the roster or the organization. I feel my heart calling me home goes above football or winning or championships. I feel a responsibility to live the values of our community in my fandom. Loyalty. Commitment. Endurance. Dedication. Grit. Love. I have thought often about these values in the past five years. As a mentor/teacher I have the responsibility to encourage our youth to share these values. While I can demonstrate these values as a Steelers fan, I believe it is more powerful to root myself in our community and be a fan of the teams who play here. Maybe some of the kids I work with will see that and it will encourage them to be loyal and committed to Northeast Ohio and endure the struggle that comes with living in such a place. That would make me happy. Our community needs all the grit and dedication it can get.
I know saying I am a Browns fan again doesn’t instantly make me a Browns fan again in many of your eyes. In Northeast Ohio, nothing is giving. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. I am ready to accept the challenge of proving you wrong. I’m coming home. Go Browns.
